“1-24,” the judge said into the microphone, the feedback whining sharply as he stifled a yawn. He handed the blue ball to his kid assistant who sent it rolling down a long track off the high platform where they were sitting. The assistant scanned the audience below them for any sign of a bingo, but no one leapt up or called out. Then he plopped back down, looking as bored as his supervisor sounded. The judge shot him a look and he stopped slouching. The balls continued to tumble around the antique machine as the announcer turned the crank the standard five times.

Meanwhile, the small ball bounced along in the chute as it passed over a few sensors that lit up, causing all the elderly heads in the room to briefly look up at the 24-foot square flat-screen hanging ominously over the whole room like a direct-line to God, some scowling at it, some rejoicing, others praying for redemption, some gawking in confusion and others pounding their fists and heads against the tables.

All except for one person: an elderly woman near the back, sitting slumped over, looking bored and glancing at her watch every couple of seconds. None of her cards had any inky stamps on them, even though the screen showed that many numbers had already been called. Her eight colored markers were capped and standing in a line that she had re-arranged several times in the last hour. She sat up suddenly.

“All set Rad?” a scruffy voice spoke to her through a small receiver curled around a gaudy fake-diamond earring, the wire disappearing up into the tangles of the curly silver wig. It was only from sheer will power that Rad hadn’t yanked the thing off and beaten it with the chair he was sitting on. No one was ever going to make him wear one ever again.

“Been ready for over an hour,” Rad responded in a whisper, scratching vigorously under the rim of his wig. He sat up a little straighter and gazed carefully around the room over the rims of his fake-lens bifocals. Everyone else appeared to be engrossed in the game, which was exactly what they wanted.

“On the Bingo,” the voice said and added, “and try to stick to the plan this time.”

“Aye-aye, Captain.” Rad replied, reaching into his purse for his weapon. Finally he’d get some action.

“BINGO!” The shout came from the front row. Rad recognized the booming tenor as Zane and laughed when he saw his get-up – which made him look like an extremely obese woman. In seconds that costume was shed, revealing the stockpile of weapons he had been toting underneath it. That was the cue for everyone else to follow and Rad did the same, glad to be rid of the wig most of all. He sighed in relief as he gave his spikey red hair a vigorous scratch as soon he whipped the dumb thing off.

The senior citizens weren’t afraid at first; ticked off was what they really were and they complained about a number of things to the pirates, including a lack of hot water on this cruise and cheap, dried-out bingo markers. It wasn’t until a few guns were waved around that they finally understood that they were being robbed.

The pirates managed to get them all herded like sheep away from the tables near the back exits. It took them a minute or two but soon they were all standing around complaining and arguing with their captors as the pirates in turn begin to demand they empty out their purses and hand over all their valuables if they didn’t want any trouble.

Rad was the only one who spotted the judge running for one of the side exits they hadn’t covered yet. He blocked him off easily – the guy wasn’t a good runner. He easily picked him up with his cybernetic arm.

“Don’t go. Stick around for the party,” he said, dropping him into a nearby chair, “And while you’re at it, how about the code to the prize box over there?” He was indicating a glass tank that was filled to the brim with bills of varying denominations. It had a door on the side with a computerized keypad mechanism. What Rad didn’t notice was the young assistant who had dropped down off the backside of the bingo platform. He edged around to the side and watched them carefully.

“You don’t want that,” the judge said, as Rad shoved a gun at his face, “It’s all fake! Just for show, you know?”

“If all that’s fake why not give me the code?” Rad asked and grinned, knowing he had won.

The judge sighed with exasperation and tugged on his hair. Rad’s gun helped cure him of his indecision. “It’s 1-9-8-6.”

“Hey Butch.” Rad called to one of his fellow mates waiting for orders.

Butch turned his head. He looked grumpier than usual. He also had part of his disguise stuck in his tangled hair, one of those fake birds. It made him look ridiculous but Rad held in his laughter. Making fun of a giant was not a good idea no matter how funny his haircut.

“Watch this guy for me. I’m going for the big cash prize!”

Butch grumbled and stepped over, people cowering as he passed. He glared down at the judge who looked like he was going to pee his pants. “Cap’n said stick to the plan,” he said simply.

“Patches needs to brighten up a little,” Rad said with a smirk and strolled to the glass case, repeating the numbers to himself. Before entering them in, he gave the device the once over. It was clear of the usual security sensors – in fact it didn’t have much to it other than the keypad lock, which made him a little suspicious, but after punching in the code and hearing the sweet suck of air as the vacuum seal released, all he could think of was the loose piles of cold, hard cash just inches away. Rad was never one for mathematics, but he estimated based on the bills he could see and the size of the case, which was just a little taller than his lanky form, that there had to be at least 20 or 30K.

He shoved open the door as a mountain of it tumbled out at his feet. He couldn’t resist the temptation and threw himself inside the box like a diver off a high platform. Being a pirate has its advantages, he thought as his nose got the thick whiff of freshly pressed money that had never been confined to the sweaty leather of someone’s wallet.

It wasn’t until he heard the double-beep that he realized his mistake. His head popped out of the cash in time to see a short kid grinning at him. He looked carefully and recognized him from the platform – hadn’t he been sitting next to the judge?

“You little—“ Rad rushed at the door but smashed into it. It wouldn’t budge! He glared. Of course, the kid had reactivated the lock and there was no way to open it from his side. No way for an ordinary person, that is. Rad held out his cybernetic arm and braced himself as he punched it directly. The glass crackled, forming a spiderweb, but he didn’t break through yet.

“Say Cheese, scumbag!” Rad looked up just in time to be blinded by a camera flash. The kid laughed and leapt back as Rad swung even harder at the glass. The kid dashed into the tightly-pressed crowd. He took one lady’s purse and thwacked the nearest pirate in the back of the head all in one stride, knocking him clean on the floor. The purse weighed a lot more than it looked, spilling its contents. “They hurt my kittens!” he shouted in a falsetto and the ladies started fighting back, the kid vanishing as quickly as he appeared, ducking and sliding past everyone out to the door as the commotion stirred up.

The pirates quickly lost control of the situation as the commotion escalated and senior citizens yelled and complained even louder about animal cruelty and why they hadn’t received a kitten welcome basket along with their deluxe suite. The pirate crew couldn’t keep even contained in the Bingo area and soon they were being pushed back and out the exits, bombarded with their bags of varying sizes and gravity-defying weights. The judge saw his chance and made a mad dash for the door. He wasn’t fast, but he was faster than Butch who was currently being pelted with multiple purses spewing lip balms, pens, coupons, bingo tokens and other baubles like a coin slot machine. Rad managed to slip out in the chaos, sounding the alarm as he ran.

Rad finally managed after the fifth or sixth blow to break through the glass, tumbling to the ground along with another pile of money. He scooped up as much as he could carry and shoved it in every available pocket he had on him. He stopped mid-shove when he heard a couple high-pitched sirens screech, lights flashing. This threw the pirate crew into a panic and the little old ladies complained even louder and swung even harder, a few of them chasing them, and one or two just looking confused. One even stopped one of the pirates to ask where the closest washroom was.

The Captain’s voice erupted loudly on Rad’s earpiece, his ear buzzing long after he finished screaming out his favorite obscenities “Grab what you can and abandon ship! Every man for himself!” The pirates stampeded, some of them actually taking some of the bags and purses being thrust at them, others just plain running and dodging all sorts of projectiles, even a pair of dentures.

Rad heard his captain stomping towards him before he saw him, his armored leg leaving a dent as he walked. He was pissed off and it didn’t take a genius to know he was his current target.

“Goddamnit boy! Don’t just stand there! The WARD will be here any minute now because of your shenanigans!”

“It wasn’t me—“ The old captain swatted him aside like a fluttering moth as he also stooped down to one knee to hurriedly fill a huge bag that had been meant for the jewels, wallets and other valuables from all the senior citizens. It was empty at the moment, same as the compassion in his voice.

“If you’re not back on the ship when I get there, I’m leavin’ your ass here for them,” he said, grumbling as he shoved wad after wad in his sack, looking like the anti-Santa Claus with his portly belly poking out from under his patchwork jacket and his thick white beard, “Might do ya well to rot in jail for a few years.”

Rad was more concerned where that brat of a kid had run off to. He sighed. It was just like everything to go wrong just when it was beginning to go good for him. He snatched up one last handful of bills and jammed them inside the waistband of his pants. He had a feeling he was gonna need some extra cash at the end of the this excursion. He ran before his captain could yell at him some more.

Chaos reigned in the hallways of the cruise ship. Rad had to dodge down several different hallways to avoid the packs of garden-variety rent-a-cops running down the halls to the scene of the disaster. Rad stole a look out the closest window as he ran. All he could see was the inky blackness of space, brushed with stars that were floating slowly past like leaves in a stream as the ship passed through them. There was no sign of the WARD yet, but he knew Captain Patches was right and it was only a matter of time before they arrived. He ran as fast as he could, choking down the burning feeling in his throat and trying to ignore the painful stitch cutting into his side. He knew Patches would leave him behind if he wasn’t on that ship. And what’s worse, that kid had snapped a photo of him. If he was caught, he wouldn’t just have the police to worry about. There was one person who would stop at nothing to track him down if he found the slightest hint he was alive. And just when he had finally settled in to Blue Moon.

Rad forced his panic into the back of his mind as he entered the bus bay where all of the larger ships were docked. Even if he hadn’t remembered where they had parked, it was easy enough for him to figure it out, it was where everyone was running towards. No one had hesitated to the Captain’s command and Rad caught up with a few of them as they stomped up the gangplank. Rad collapsed against the wall, happy that he wasn’t on the flight crew. He could barely stand, his leg muscles were burning, and so were his lungs. He felt like he had run a marathon. He really needed to get back into shape. He wasn’t as young as he used to be and he was starting to feel it in certain places, including his back, which protested him sitting on the hard floor. He ignored it for the time being because he was too tired to stand.

It wasn’t until Captain Patches came running in that he managed to pull himself upright. He didn’t want to be anywhere near him right now. He wasn’t quick enough to leave the bridge and the Captain grabbed him around the neck, squeezing.

“A word with you Mr. Savage. In private,” he emphasized with a growl as he dragged him along. “Ahoy there! Dock this flying scrap-heap on Blue Moon on the double or it’s the airlock for all of ya!” he screeched at the crew who scrambled to their positions and initiated the launching sequence, everyone else retiring to the crew common room. They avoided looking at either Rad or the Captain, talking in hushed tones as they filed into the room, the door sliding shut behind them.

“Of all the useless, idiotic,” the Captain continued to adjectively rant as he pulled Rad into his office and shoved him down in the swivel office chair that everyone so lovingly referred to as “the hot seat”. 

Rad could feel the welt marks along his neck and had a feeling he would be lucky if that’s all he escaped this misadventure with. He didn’t dare speak until the Captain had firmly seated himself in his favorite chair. A high leather-back they had pulled off a mobile office vessel. It was an antique and very expensive, much like most of the other things in the captain’s office. With the exception of the hot seat, which was well-worn from many a subordinate wriggling around nervously in it. Rad leaned back in it a bit too far and nearly tumbled backwards, recovering clumsily, arms flailing. 

The Captain glared at him and went quiet for a few seconds. The silence was more disturbing to Rad than any screaming or yelling. A minute passed, the captain turning away from him for a moment to study some of the photos on the wall behind him, all of them featuring the crew’s long list of highlights, including one particular photo that Rad would never forget. It was the first excursion he had gone with Captain Patches. The photo was snapshot-size but was placed somewhat prominently towards the center towards which all of them gravitated like a black hole towards a poster-print of Blue Moon herself, the galaxy’s most notorious pirate community – and the most impossible asteroid to track down in the universe, which is what led Rad to it in the first place. Whereas the Blue Moon poster was merely an old stylized advertisement for the abandoned mall for which the asteroid had once been in its original prime, the photograph was more gritty and real. In it the Captain had an arm around Rad who although he was tall and lanky, looked much younger and much happier.

“You’re like a son ta me, Rad,” he said softly, “Ya know that, don’t cha?”

“Yes, sir,” Rad replied almost as quietly.

“I thought someday I’d make you my first lieutenant – give all this to you when I retire. But it’s stunts like this,” and at this Rad’s heart plummeted, “when I seriously doubt my own intentions.”

“It was this kid—“

“And who should have been there to cut him off? But that’s a beginner mistake. No, what was more interestin’ to me was to find you lootin’ that prize box! I tell ya to stick to the plan – and what do you do? The same thing ya always do! Ya run off own on your own and jeopardize the whole crew!”

“But I-“

“Quit interrupting!” he snapped, “I’m Captain for a reason – just like I had a reason why I told you to leave well enough alone. Them cases are nearly always booby-trapped for us and we didn’t want to attract more attention than necessary. We could have gotten away with all their loot without anyone outside that Bingo Parlor being the wiser! But, thanks to you, we’ve probably lost this sector. The WARD might be trailing us and this job will hit so high-profile and they’ll be sure to keep an eye out for us should we show our ugly mugs there again.”

This time Rad didn’t open his mouth. He sighed. He knew that was a correct assumption.

“Rad, my boy, your eyes are too wide! Always thinking with them hungry eyes and never with the brains behind them! You’re greedy, you’re reckless – and a number of other things I don’t have the time nor energy to go into! In short, I’m tired of dealing with ya.”

“What do mean by that?” Rad asked.

“What I meant to say,” the Captain corrected himself, “is I can’t have someone on my crew who doesn’t follow my direct orders and is always gettin’ in over his head lookin fer a bigger score. That is to say, what I meant by that gobbledy-gook is… You’re done.”

“What?! You can’t do this!” Rad stood up and went directly to the desk.

“I made up my mind,” the Captain said. “You’re not gonna change it by throwin’ a hissy fit at me.”

“I need this job! I have bills to pay,” Rad said.

“Oh, you do? Well, don’t we all!? Why don’t you go apply to that blasted diner of yours. Few months as a busboy oughta straighten you out, I think. I’m seein’ now that I’ve been too easy on ya for a long time. Shoulda reigned you in a long time ago, matter of fact.”

Rad did not answer him. His chest heaved slowly in and out.

“Rad,” Patches tone softened, “Be honest. We both know you’re a lousy pirate. You don’t belong here, son. You know that, don’t cha? I know you’ve had some hard times, but the past is dead and buried. It’s time to move on to better things. Get off this rock and make something of yourself, while you still can.”

Rad could see Patches wasn’t budging on this and there was nothing he could do. He felt so helpless in front of the one person he had come to trust these last couple years. He pounded the Captain’s desk hard with his cybernetic fist,  crunching through the wood, the force of it knocking off an empty drinking glass which clanked on the floor but didn’t break. It rolled to a stop before the captain responded.

“Alright then. If you’re gonna be like that then you can leave your take of the booty here as well,” he said, slapping the broken edge of his desk. Patches had apparently spied (Rad’s pockets were nearly bursting after all) the cash sticking out of him. Rad glared. He felt like a little kid, except this wasn’t his allowance being taken back, it was his livelihood.

“Go on, boy!” He rapped the desk again, rattling everything on top.

Rad turned out each of his pockets in turn, stacking the bills in crumpled wads on the desk, most of them slipping to the floor. He was holding back a few tears, gritting his teeth into a scowl and not looking his captain in the eye. He left one big wad in his waistband – but it was covered by his jacket so he was hoping Patches wouldn’t notice. If he did see it, he didn’t mention it.

“Now, git.” the Captain said very clearly through clenched teeth that he bared like a Rottweiler, his eyes looking wild like one. He may be old, Rad thought, but on the inside he’s just as strong as ever.

Rad clenched his fists tightly, the sinews in his cybernetics squealing slightly under the pressure. He matched his Captain’s glare and then left abruptly, slamming the door behind him.

The Captain sat back in his chair, wiping the sweat off his forehead. He let out a long sigh and turned around, finding himself staring up at the bright-eyed young man standing next to him in the photograph. Straight-out firing him was a little harsh, he admitted, but he couldn’t just let him get away with disobeying direct orders. That young man had too big of a head. If he could squish it down some and learn to think about other people maybe he’d let him back in. Just maybe. At any rate, some hard time washing dishes would be good for him. Maybe if he was lucky he would leave the planet. Rad’s too good for a place like this, he thought, never should have brought him here in the first place.

No one in the entire crew had noticed the short stowaway sneak aboard before takeoff. Chase Evans had squeezed himself into one of the ventilation shafts and was spying down on everyone in the crew’s common room. He held out his badge over the grating as it scanned each person who walked under or near it. He was glad he had paid good money for the latest model. The extra-long-life batteries didn’t hurt either.

After each successful scan he pulled the device back towards himself, uploading it directly to the website and waiting impatiently for the results to download and show up in his in-box. He tapped around while the files transferred this way and that, double-checking the profiles he had already dug up. Most of these guys were pretty much on the same level: F-Rank. Although they weren’t ranked very high in the criminal database, Chase knew the bigger fish would be close by once they docked at Blue Moon. He was hoping to catch a couple D-ranks – or a C if he was really lucky. He was feeling rather lucky today all things considered.

After months of research, persistent networking and one last lucky break, he finally tracked down this pirate crew – and even then he wasn’t enitrely sure if this crew was actually from Blue Moon itself. But they had at least been in port there once or twice according to his scarce sources. It wasn’t until he overheard the Captain a few minutes ago that he knew his ship had finally come in. Blue Moon would have the rarest bounties in the galaxy for sure. Bounty hunters spoke of it like it was an ancient legend and Chase had been laughed at for even thinking about finding it, since anyone who reported to have found it tended to disappear for weeks only to suddenly reappear as a corpse floating through space with a long dagger driven into each eye socket: a traditional warning to keep clear of pirate territory. He wondered what the other hunters would say once when he’d bring back a few high-priced souvenirs from Blue Moon herself. They wouldn’t call him a kid anymore, that was for sure. And it would bring him enough money to…

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud series of bleeps. He muffled his badge with both hands. Thankfully it was very loud down below him in the crew’s common room, so there was no way anyone could have heard it, but he pulled it close out of instinct. He had never heard his badge make a noise like that. It wasn’t until he saw the scanner app that he nearly screamed, covering his mouth instinctively so he didn’t give himself away.

A pirate had just passed under him: a Triple-A Rank worth one million dollars.

Everyone seemed to keep their distance from Rad as he entered the common room. They had already settled in and more than likely they had heard part of his loud argument with the Captain. No one wanted to be associated with him and that was fine because he didn’t have anything to say to them either. He plopped down on the nearest empty couch and stared out the window into open space. Even in the noise he found himself losing himself in those stars. They never ceased to do that to him. Call him sentimental, but some days he felt if he looked too long he’d never come back. Right now he wished he could. To rewind time just enough to change how things were. To make so he never even met Patches or got mixed up in this pirate business to begin with.

Eventually, sleep got the better of him (he had been holding back in the cruise ship’s bingo room) and he closed his eyes, leaning back and letting his head sink deeply into the dingy fabric of the understuffed couch, muffling the crew’s chatter that buzzed about him.